Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Throat lump

Woke up with a bitchin' bad scratchy throat yesterday and by this morning swallowing felt like gargling gravel. I think the swimming pool is just a huge blue bowl of germs. This throat thing gets me every summer.

Funniest thing the doc asked me this morning: "Are you breast feeding?" And I wanted to say, "No, what should I feed them?" But I couldn't croak it out.

I shall recline in a shady room now. Outside it's over 100, with "red air warnings," which sounds like something Ray Bradbury put in The Martian Chronicles.

The homeopathic theory would be that my closed-up throat is the result of my not being able to say what needs saying (see entry below). But I'm hoping it's just a bacterium that will be zapped by the $35 Z-pack of antibiotics.

If you have home remedies, I'm game to try anything.

I'll leave you for today with this line from a recent Conan O'Brien monologue: According to a new campus study, iPods are now more popular among college students than beer. Experts say the trend won't last unless iPods make ugly people look good at 2 a.m.

10 Comments:

Blogger StyleyGeek said...

You American lot call it 'nursing' instead of 'breast-feeding', right? Was the doctor from outside the USA?

I like your response, though :)

10:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

1. spoon of raw horseradish (not the creamy dreg - real strip the paint stuff) in morning & at night. Will open sinuses like a blowtorch.
2. Swig of apple cider vinegar before bed (not a sip - a John Wayne swig). Changes throat pH for the overnight bacterial rebound.
3. Gargle three times a day with warm salt water. Use enough salt so that it is strong enough to make your gag reflex kick in. Eliminates the gravel feel.
4. Honey & Southern Comfort. Just don't get carried away. It is "medicine". And it makes you sound like Mercedes McCambridge.

Hope you feel better soon. Swim with your mouth closed.

- Rosencrantz

1:15 AM  
Anonymous Edward said...

Strong tea with lots of lemon, a bit of honey, and a very large dollop of brandy.

1:46 AM  
Blogger Tara said...

Tea this way:

pot with water on the stove. Slice a ton of ginger thinly (lots of surface area is good) into the water. Slice up a lemon into the water. Bring the water to a boil. The longer it bubbles the stronger it gets. Add honey when you drink it, keep adding water/ginger/lemon to the pot as you need it.

My roommate taught it to me, it's so good!

Feel better!

7:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wait a few days??

7:04 AM  
Blogger Doug & Dara said...

Try some DanActive. The S/O was sick for a week and when he started getting over it, I started coming down with it. I was feeling crappy, in that way way you do when you are just getting sick, but had to go grocery shopping. I saw the DanActive in the yogurt section and remembered the commercial about how it was suppost to boost your immune system, and I thought I would give it a try. Two days (and two drinks) later, I felt great and never did fully get sick.

3:27 PM  
Anonymous renita said...

Many great ideas... I also recommend sucking on as many vitamin-C drops as you can stand. they help kick my colds in the butt.

and i *love* your imagined retort to the doctor...

12:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WOW!!! All of my friends and family including myself have had this freakin' sore throat thing the past several weeks....Whatever it is, it's going around - and it's horrible. I found (at Walmart unfortunately) that Tylenol makes "Sore Throat" pain relief. It's a blue liquid and it really works. I had never seen something specifically for sore throats except lozenges and sprays - I highly recommend it. Gargling with salt water works too but I can barely stand it....also, I like drinking unsweetened HOT Starbucks passion tea - but the idea of doing that at this point in the year is highly unpleasant. I feel your pain, sore throats suck - Hope you feel better.

11:06 AM  
Anonymous MomWolf said...

Slowly chew/suck on candied ginger. you can get it from whole foods or central market.

At night try my grandfathers "Remedy"
2 oz Apple juice
2 Oz Dark Rum or Bourbon or Brandy
Juice of 1/2 lemon
1 spoonful of honey.

Heat it up and drink it as hot as you can stand it.

9:21 AM  
Blogger Adi said...

Thank you for sharing.
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7:23 AM  

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