Thursday, November 03, 2005

Word Nerd Challenge #11

A creative endeavor this week. So gather your monkeys and your typewriters and see if you can come up with some new city slogans and nicknames. Like we know New York is "The Big Apple" and Chicago is "The Windy City" (even though it's been proven that on average, Dallas is much windier -- today we have 45 mph gusts that will really play havoc with a wrap skirt).

Pick five cities, large or small, famous or un, and give them new slogans or nicknames. Be funny, be mean, be creative.

I'll start.

Los Angeles = Lo-Cal So-Cal.
Dallas = Big Hair and Bad Air.
Plano = Make It a Habit (for you out-of-towners, Plano, just north of Big D, frequently makes headlines for the rampant drug usage in its affluent high school population).
Cincinnati = Where Homophobia Starts at Home.
Waco = Open 24/7 for Jesus.

I know you'll do better. This week's winner (as determined by yours truly) will receive his or her very own handmade (again by yours truly) "taterquoise" bracelet. Spud jewelry! Post your answers in comments here. Get a-writin' right now!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Terrell-Freak Show (Terrell State Hospital...and if you're from there everyone asks if you've escaped.)
Canton-Where the crafts come to you
DC-I wear a $400 designer suit, and tennis shoes
Baltimore-We make up news
Maryland-It's all about us!

4:29 PM  
Anonymous Improve Congress without DeLay said...

Lubbock = The bigger the hair, the closer to god

Midland = Not quite Hell, but it's in the same zip code

Odessa = 'ho-dessa

Amarillo = AMooooooorillo

Dallas = Where money and taste are strangers

Does anyone remember back in the 80s when some looney Republican referred to Austin as "Moscow on the Colorodo?" Always liked that one.

7:36 PM  
Blogger Cold Potato said...

Highland Park - Daddy's Plastic

Downtown Dallas - Building For Rent.

Crawford - Somewhere In Texas, A Village Is Missing Its Idiot (I'm not the first to say that, but it still cracks me up)

Waco - Wacko

Houston - (cough, cough)

Plano - New Highland Park

Plano - Daddy, Can I Have A Red Convertable?

Plano - McMansionville

The MixMaster- World's Most Expensive Parking Lot

9:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:06 PM  
Blogger theprofessor said...

Denver == Where Being a Mile High Now Is Legal

10:57 PM  
Anonymous lucille said...

Chicago: the Porkchopolis

Washington, DC: the Blow-Me State

San Francisco: If You Lived Here, You'd Be Broke By Now

Baghdad: It's a Blast!

Winnipeg: We're Stuck Here, What's Your Excuse?

[and two better ones I found online:
Washington, DC: A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Halliburton, Inc.
Richmond: It Sucks Less]

6:46 AM  
Anonymous ironcheftoni said...

Plano - where the bread is white and the heroin is black tar

8:13 AM  
Anonymous renita said...

Philadelphia - The City of Brotherly "Hey, are you talkin' to me?"

Norristown (Pa.) - All of Philly's problems, none of the charm

St. Charles, Ill. - White flight, plus Thai restaurants!

12:12 PM  
Anonymous Hillary said...

-Dallas - Where the West begins, where smoking Ends.

-Seattle - Federation of Starbucks

Washington DC - Jesus' Final Resting Place

-Fort Worth - Dallas on Horseback

-New Orleans - Croissantless City

2:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

6:39 PM  
Blogger SuperHolmie said...

Waco: Jerusalem-on-the-Brazos.

Dallas: Se Habla Inglés.

Texas: It's Like A Whole Other Country-- Mexico.

(Sorry, I know we are supposed to do cities.)

Houston: Home of the Jesus H. Christ Memorial Stadium.

Plano: No Bloods or Crips, Just Polos and Izods.

12:09 PM  
Blogger Kimmijo said...

Columbus, OH - Striving for Mediocrity in a World of Excellence

Ann Arbor, MI - At Least We're Not Ohio

5:38 PM  
Blogger Aaron Courter said...

Dallas: Intestinal freeways.

Galveston: The colon of Texas!

OKC: The fly on the flyswatter.

Portland, OR: Visit Seattle!

Seattle, WA: Bring your Mac.

10:31 AM  
Blogger Rita said...

Waco - greatness through mediocrity

6:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cincinnati -- Where the Old South meets Germany

11:59 PM  
Anonymous fluke of nature said...

Phoenix - "The murderous s***hole, Phoenix Arizona."

Tucson - It's not fabulous.

The Hamptons - I hate everybody

Long Island - The **** you lookin at?

1:29 PM  
Blogger Snow Mint said...

Ottawa, ON- The nations crapital, Onterrible
Toronto, ON- So Much Culture, So Much Garbage
(ships its garbage everywhere, even michigan)
London, ON- Watch Your Drink
(rohypnol anyone?)
Montréal, Québec- Seperation City, Québexico
(the french/english employment issues)
Corner Brook, NF- Our Oil, Our Loss
(offshore oil deal screw up with the gov't)

4:26 PM  
Blogger The Calvinator said...

Terrell -- We're not all crazy.

Forney -- We'll grow on you . . . like a fungus.

Mesquite -- The DARTless Wonder

Frisco/McKinney/Wylie/Forney/etc. -- White Flight: The Next Generation

1:31 AM  
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2:37 AM  

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