Thursday, October 20, 2005

Werd Nerd Exercise 9: A Scotchtoberfest of Neologisms

Craptacular. Origin: The Simpsons. Meaning: Crappy to a spectacular degree. First used to describe the supposedly defective Christmas lights that Homer purchased in "Miracle on Evergreen Terrace."

Neologisms are invented words or short phrases that typically arise from slang. They are coinages that cease to be neologisms once they are accepted colloquially. Think carb, cube farm, Wifi, zarch and jump the shark.

This week's craptacular word nerd exercise (with one fabtabulous prize!) is to create at least five neologisms related to the college experience. Like, the remedial math class: Jolly Numbers. The boring lecturer: Dr. Ambien. The transparent excuse for missing an exam: dead granny defense. Pulling into a faculty slot with the risk of getting towed: panic park.

You could coin a word or phrase to describe classroom decor, dorm rooms, cafeteria fare (ever eat mystery meat?) or whatever you choose. If you're too long out of school to remember such things, invent some neologisms about your workplace.

Best list gets a set of "word blocks" you can arrange on a shelf or coffeetable. Kinda like those sticky words you put on the fridge, except they're cute little wooden blocks. Winner to be determined by me. If you've won Word Nerd competitions over the past month, please play but let someone else win.

Last week's winners are: Brooke and Laker Fan. Send me your mailing addresses ( and I'll get your Found magazines off to you.

Have a craptacular time, everyone!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

From college:

"Sexiled": to be momentarily exiled from your dorm, apartment, or "pad" because of your roommate's sexual conquests.

"dash trash": The burger king wrappers, paperwork, parking tickets, and whatnot that accumulate/reproduce on your dashboard throughout the year.

"sofa surfer": the friend of yours who has no home of his own (or a home he doesn't like) and instead spends his nights bouncing between his friends' couches.

And because I work in emergency medicine, some favorites from the field:

"Urban Outdoorsman": Homeless Person, Transient

"Acute Lead Poisoning": Sometimes cited as the cause of death from a gun shot wound.

"Ambumuffs": What people who do not pull to the right side of the road for an ambulance are accused of wearing (the ambumuffs make them unable to hear/recognize/acknowledge the emergency approaching them from behind).

12:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ps that was me posting "Sexiled", etc--

I'm PardonmyDutch (just in case I win)

12:49 AM  
Anonymous Dr. Bear said...

Profossil -- Jurassic faculty member whose class is to be avoided at all costs

Nananap -- use of a grandparent's illness as cover for missing class and sleeping in

Clownoser -- student who uses humor to suck up to professors

Ploogle -- (verb) to Google a student's paper checking for plagiarism

99er -- the Type A student who always argues with professors that a 99 on a paper/exam should really be a 100

1:00 AM  
Anonymous Ragman said...

A freshman physics into class "The Fun of Physics" that is basically power point slides, pass/fail based mostly on attendance. "The Nap of Physics"

Older one: "chilleable", as in "Hey, wanna go to Al's and watch the game?" "Yeah, that'd be chilleable"

That's two. I'll have to think on it later when I have more time.

8:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Music: The Art of Listening was called "Clapping For Credit"

Geology 1311: Rocks for Jocks

11:15 AM  
Blogger maurinsky said...

From school:

self-distract - when you distract a professor from the subject at hand by getting them to talk about themselves: "Let's get Dr. Newmom to self-distract by asking her questions about her new sprog."

prominate: to actively campaign to be the most fabulous person/queen at the prom. "Kaitee picked out her dress early in an attempt to prominate the competition."

potted plant: the tweaker who sits in the back of the class and never moves. "That guy with the rainbow bear tattoo on his arm is a total potted plant."

From life:

Nipply - when it's chilly enough outside to make your nipples hard. "Better put a jacket on, it's nipply out there."

Clash of the Spite-ans: When two people are hell bent on out-spiteing each other. "My husband was being followed by this tailgater, so he just kept driving slower and slower. Then the tailgater passed him and slammed on her breaks. It was a regular Clash of the Spite-ans."

12:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"housed" - being the butt end of a joke by the owner(s) of the house or apartment

"blowtard" - contestant for the Darwin Awards, it's amazing these people are alive

"frankensteined" - a software product that is so FUBAR'd you cringe every time you have to change it.

"the left foot of fellowship" - ex-communicated (as opposed to the right hand of fellowship)

"chinglish" - indescipherable english in a chinese accent. Spokenly often by physics professors.

(I'm JohnO btw)

12:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ossifer - a retired police officer who joins college security.

Fud - served in college cafeterias everywhere - almost, but not completely, exactly unlike food.


1:14 PM  
Anonymous Katee said...

Not from college, but from life:

Mizzle - That Pacific Northwest cross between mist & drizzle.

8:22 PM  
Blogger MAW said...

1. i-cant-ation - I can't do this anymore! A cry of desperation ripped from the heart of a crazed grad student.

2. in-duh-fference - the look that undergrads are prone to give teachers when called on in class on the Monday after Homecoming weekend

3. ugh-ly - the way one's head feels with a hangover

4. sports-tastic - classes known to be friendly to the student-athletes with the fewest academic skills

5. in-core-igible -core curriculum classes that everyone hates

8:42 PM  
Anonymous zuleme said...

The joys of being married to someone for whom English is a second language.

nippllish: another version of cold enough to nake your nipples rise.

Swinglish : what my Swedish husband does to my language

fogny: coffee

noodle: a cat

zwei-noodled: two cats on a lap or bed

tri-noodled: three of the above

a three cat morning: hanging around reading on the PB’s in bed with all three cats attendance.

a three cat night: getting cold enough for all cats to want to be with you.

noodleecquador: our senior cat, who is the head cat

terminally cute: so cute you could die from it

Gerf: my cat, Fergus

gerfilate: to be terminally cute , also gerfilating

mintiliated: to have fresh breath from chewing mint gum. ( that one is from John Scalzi at

frostague: The Swedish husband just came out with this one. It means, we did not have a frostague last night, yippe, lets rescue the geraniums.

muckabout: to ramble about at an easy pace doing whatever interests you

muckaboutteur: the one doing the muckking

muckabouturing: to be mucking about

odi-odi-o: what my cat, Silas, hums to himself as he mucks about

I am working on my web site, and have posted my entire first children's book there. Anyone who has the time and interest is welcome to stop by and read it. Comments aren't enable yet but emails are very welcome. My second book is up there too, just the beginning draft. Soon I will add my other writing projects. Feedback helps me get going!

8:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Buggles: Atrociously enormous sunglasses/goggles that international Ashleys wear to look less like human beings and more like elite insects, irrepsective of location.

Fratasphere: A rather unkempt, booze-ridden land, in which many Brads and their kin reside. The fratasphere is often entered by non-members during late nights for activities like beer pong.

Whorority: Quite simply, the slutty sisters who wear UGG boots and mini skirts in below-freezing weather. In actually, a whorority is composed mostly of a sexually active young bunch, who feign sisterhood. In actuality, they just badmouth their fellow trampsters behind their backs.

Exaped: Esentially, having been anally violated (raped) by an incredibly incomprehensible exam.

Hofessor: A professor who has been rumored to have intimate relations with a number of other faculty members and/or students.


1:22 PM  
Blogger OSUTuba said...

"Frat Pack" -- A group of fraternity pledge Brads (or Brad-wannabes) that are seemingly joined at the hip. Easily identifiable by the wearing of (sometimes matching) dress shirts, khakis, sport coasts, and the pinned-on indicators of said frat.

"Rocks for Jocks" -- The term used to refer to the Intro. to Geology class at my alma mater, supposedly because it was taken by the football players to satisfy one of their Natural Sciences course requirements.

"Elevatoilet" -- What a dorm elevator unwittingly becomes after a long night of binge drinking

"Finsomnia" -- The condition that is onset by the need to study non-stop for Finals. Usually manifests itself during Pre-Finals Week

And a couple from my college band days:
"Tubus" -- The bus (usually the #2 bus to further the play on words) that held all members of the tuba line, along with a few others fortunate enough to join us.

"Bath Bar" -- What became of one (or sometimes more) select bathtub(s) on a Marching or basketball band trip (usually in the room of a consisting of a group of tuba players). This was the result of emptying out every ice machine on the floor of said bathroom along with every liquor and convenience store within a 5-mile radius of said hotel.

4:59 PM  
Blogger SuperHolmie said...

Smug shot - When someone smiles or looks like a smart ass in their mug shot. (For a good example of this, see the one of Tom Delay.)

5:39 PM  
Blogger Greg - Cowboy in the Jungle said...

Oompa Loompa - The Unwanted Girls at a Party.

At the driving range - screwing an oompa loompa (because at the driving range you can hit ugly balls all night and practice your technique)

The "P" Dance - Success dance similar to a touch down whe you score the digits.

Out with Marty Moose - when some one dates some one else for sympathy.

Whiskey Dick - Too drunk to perform
Oral Exam - Students sleeping with the prof.

11:45 PM  
Anonymous alicia said...

getting your geek on: playing video games/dungeons and dragons, or any other form of "geek" game.

intro to fedora's and whips: intro to archaeology

children with ph.d's: what my coworker and i call the professors we work for

for totally: (use in instances when you'd like to sound like a foreign exchange student, ie: "i like waffles, for totally.")

radio telepathy: when you've been listening to the same music radio station for too long, you develop radio telepathy, often being able to guess what song comes on next.

20 sided fuzzy dice: (as in, "he's got a pair of 20 sided fuzzy dice.") a gamer who's also intensely cool in more "normal" circles.

bandopoly: being the most well known person in your section in marching band--you've got a bandopoly!

colorslut: a member of the colorguard who has made out with too many trumpet players.

post-college crisis: the precurser to the quarterlife crisis; the "oh my god, my degree means nothing, what do i do to create meaning in my life?!" phase

shark attack: having your hotel room filled up with ironing boards from other people's hotel rooms

sharking: when the sousaphones stalk an innocent freshman band member. or the director, for that matter.

sing and finger: a band term for singing your part and using fingering at the same time. often said right before the reminder: "finger all your parts!"

the domino effect: when one person in marching band falls, it causes the next person to fall, and the next person

homosectional: dating someone in your section in marching band (this is highly warned against)

2:48 PM  
Anonymous Hillary said...

"The Kevin Bacon" - In the context of sex, someone who's gotten around... a lot. Had a roommate who what The Kevin Bacon of Texas I'd be so bold to say.
(remember -

4:54 PM  
Anonymous Nicole H. said...

Fratastic- dressing with a popped collar and deck shoes

walk-of-shame- the stroll back from a fraternity house after shacking there, carrying your heels.

boracle- a useless class some take to help you "organize" for college

jimmyjenny- the person serving in the cafeteria you can never tell is a guy or a gal.

hitting on freshman girls- what sorority girls do to get a freshman to join.

cattle herding- the roundup of as many freshman girls that frats can get at one party (dressed as prostitutes)

a marathon- drinking for as many hours as you possibly can without passing out. (all day binge)

SMUts- girls that go after boys in athletics

MRS Degree- self explanatory

Hoarders- people that host a party, but get stingy with the keg

thats all i can think of now.

9:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

dormcest - dating someone within your dorm

gelatinous - how your legs feel after your personal trainer makes you lunge, then squat 1/5th of a mile along the indoor track

runners - the students attempting to get to the admissions office on the last day to withdraw from a class

liquid crack - highly caffeinated energy drinks

beerios -'s what's for breakfast

boyfriends - unpaid sex workers

examapalooza - exam week

overcooked toast - your brain after a weekend express crash course or finals week

checkmate - the student you
always switch papers with when the prof allows you to grade each other's quizzes on the basis that you will correct each other's papers and not exactly "grade" them...results in instant A's

vomitrocious - how you feel after drinking too much

the abercrombie tribe - the clique of polo-wearing brads n ashleys you walk by on the way to class...not much has changed since high school


6:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i have one more...

diploma mills - the online colleges and universities that guarantee a degree in a short period of time (but have issues with their accreditation)


6:16 PM  
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