Saturday, October 15, 2005

And over there, Highlights for Children

How much does a certain university want to be home of the G.W. Bush Presidential Library? The school is one of two local finalists. The other is a much smaller but more academically challenging university, one that doesn't mind the "liberal arts" appellation, which will probably hurt its chances. The conservo-uni has been hustling like mad to make the campus ready for the presence of his Holiness (by which I mean James Dobson or some other Christian prez-polisher). It's a kiss-up fest over there like you have never seen.

Back when I still got a paycheck from the place, I heard a lot about the enticements the school was offering to the Bushies--don't forget, the FLOTUS is an alumna--to assure that the library/museum/conservative-think-tank (oxymoron alert!) would end up here.

To clear the acreage needed for the library complex, the school evicted a few hundred residents of an apartment community the school had acquired over on the easternmost side of the school. Some of the ousted residents were elderly, owned their apartments and had lived there for more than 20 years. They were given no choice. Out by July. The school's reason for the sudden evictions? Mold.

Details of the library offer haven't been made public, but the scuttlebutt among the faculty has it that besides building Bush an enormous pile of bricks dedicated to his achievements as president (wait, I think I threw up a little in my mouth when I typed that), the cronies, er, "staff" assigned to the place will have posh living quarters provided. (President Clinton's library/museum in Little Rock includes a penthouse for him.)

Worst tidbit I have heard about the Bush Library plan is that Karl "I'm the hand up Kermit's ass" Rove would be awarded a permanent, endowed chair in some department (the academic equiv of a featherbed job). He'd mostly likely land in Corporate Communications/Public Affairs, since even the poli-sci department is wary of his infectiously slimy way of doing the poli-biz (watch out for mold!). I heard more than one prof say that if all this came to pass and Rove's fat head floated into view, faculty wouldn't exactly greet him with open arms and tea parties. Is it any coinkydink that one of the rising stars among the public affairs tenure-trackers made tracks for another school this summer? What did she know?

And here's another piece of the puzzle. A Department of Education was quickly tossed together last spring. Adjunct faculty were hired and although there is no office space, classroom space or even a corner of a building dedicated to the new major, it now exists. Why the sudden need for education majors? Ah, back to the Bush library again. What I've heard--and from some folks in the know on campus matters--is that a requirement of a school housing this presidential worship center, er, library, is that it must have an education major. Voila! The Ashleys now can major in PR with a minor in elem-ed. No rich child left behind.

Seems inevitable: The Busheviks will get their library on the campus. And the football team will continue to suck. Can I hear an amen?

34 Comments:

Blogger Carl F. King said...

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10:37 AM  
Anonymous current liberal SMU student said...

God, I hope the library doesn't land here. I would see it as a profound embarrassment to have his library at SMU, not because he's a republican, but because he is, hands down, the worst president in american history.

. . .and to have the chubby pig-faced, Karl Rove lurking around campus scares the shit out of me/sickens me.

11:54 AM  
Blogger Greg - Cowboy in the Jungle said...

ROTFLMAO!

Good Lordy! I've got to confess, I'm a Bush voting conservative from deep in the heart of Red state land. All that aside, I have an acute appreciation for beuracratic crapola and there is enough on both sides of the crayon box.

I have to admit this is one of the goddamndest hilarious posts I think you have ever had. And please dont take that as laughing at you, I'm laughing with you on this one.

The asskissing that goes on in government is unbelievable! Good post.

1:29 PM  
Blogger Greg - Cowboy in the Jungle said...

OH! And don't let Karl on campus. I'm afraid he'll molest some one.

1:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've seen that zillons of times back in the day. There is always funding and always a way to spend it, and guess what. And why. One way of looking at it would be from the supply side. Another would be to look at it from the demand side. It is still my opinion that the best way to do have libraries and football teams is to leave the universities to their own devices. Competition does work, and it is best to compete on libraries and football than to compete on other less PC ways.

4:24 PM  
Blogger Cold Potato said...

I was quite glad when we were passed over for the library. Wherever the library ends up, the administrators and educatonologists will be happy but the rest of will have to live with the shame for a very long time.

7:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amen! I was among the several evicted from the housing colony. Can’t complain too much cos I wasn’t a resident there for a long time but it was a great convenience for the students. Though now if we don’t end up with the library, it will a big shame and a huge waste.

8:00 PM  
Anonymous guess i'm outing the school said...

haha, I know who wrote the above comment... ;)

I refer to the whole thing regularly as the "University Gardens Housing Fraud." The Binkley apartments were and ARE in MUCH worse shape than UG. I spent a drunken night or two in probably the nastiest UG apartment (that was the fault of the tenants, but I shall say no more) and it was STILL better than those Binkley shacks on a good day.

What would be embarrassing is if we DIDN'T get the library, and had to sit there with unique and perfectly functional "condemned" apartments for eternity until some alum donates the money to tear down the place and build cookie cutter yuppiepartments in their place.

UG was SUCH a good thing for the university, and they threw it away for suck-up points.

12:50 PM  
Anonymous handworn said...

Where's John Quincy Adams when you really need him? He served 18 years as a Congressman AFTER being President, and supposedly said it would be no disgrace for an ex-President to serve even as selectman of his town, if the people asked him. None of the recent presidents have done any of that. For me, that's the kind of leader who makes stars and stripes come out in the sky.

1:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow. I am not a bushie nor a fundie, but the amount of venom in the form of rumor, innuendo, and slander here is shocking.

You have written so well in the past....dealing in facts and tight prose. Perhaps your Online Writing Workshop has its first student!

5:12 PM  
Anonymous leslie in ca said...

There is no slander here; nor, for that matter, is there any libel. And if the Busheviks don't make you feel venemous, you're just not paying enough attention.

9:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When this monstrosity is finally built, for the first week I'll stand in front of the erected sign holding a large banner that says:

a.k.a
"The Learnin' Shed"

10:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Could be worse, it could be Hillary.

8:13 AM  
Anonymous Sarah M said...

It seems all too appropriate to me that the Bush library would end up at SMU. Good ol' boys will be good ol' boys, after all.

(insert Jon Stewart "heh heh heh" Bush laugh here)

10:26 AM  
Blogger Red River said...

With the Bush Library, SMU will finally have a winning team on campus.

11:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How much space would it take to house My Pet Goat and letters from Harriet?

11:35 AM  
Blogger PCS said...

The Uni should take a longer view. Bush will likely end up (in history) as the WORSE world leader ever. Who would want a library dedicated to a person like that?

12:25 PM  
Anonymous gigem said...

...obviously not one that uses the 'worst' grammar ever.

12:39 PM  
Blogger Dirk the Feeble said...

A penthouse in a library? Dude, I want to be president!

3:20 PM  
Blogger Charlie Gordon said...

I love the site. Your normal style of writing paints some insanely great mental images. But half way through the first paragraph on this one I could feel the hatred for all things Bush.

Personally I'm not a big fan of several aspects of the Bush presidency, but the blind hatred by so many on the left never ceases to amaze me. Not that so many on the right weren't much better during the Clinton years.

But whichever way the pendulum swings, I wish the dialogue in this country would tend more toward the discussion of ideas rather than attacks on the character or intelligence of the politician in question.

3:53 PM  
Blogger Red River said...

I wonder who the other World Leader was?

3:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Egads! Such a vile and acrid voice you have. I'm so sorry that it has become acceptable to disrespect our President in such a manner.

It seems pitiful to resort to name calling, sarcasm and innuendo! If you disagree with policy, do yourself (and the people who agree with you) a favor, and maintain a certain sense of pride and decorum.

4:53 PM  
Anonymous smirktastic said...

Note to everyone: free country=free expression. Don't like it? Read another blog. Or write your own. Nuff said

6:34 PM  
Blogger educat said...

Agreeing with the content of her blog is one thing. Disagree, that's the joy of having comments. I see blogs, however, as a place to share your writing. Asking someone to change the way they write is to shut down their expression.

Don't go to blogs for news. This is commentary and there's still room on the internets for everyone's blog.

7:29 PM  
Anonymous watercat said...

I want to know why there are people who continue to read this blog when they disagree with it. And in terms of libel/slander I would like to point out that President Clinton was impeached for lying about his private sexual life.......

7:19 AM  
Anonymous watercat said...

As for the Bush Library topic, when you have a conservative big money campus, they are going to pursue other conservatives, and who better to court right now than our illustrious president?

7:22 AM  
Anonymous handworn said...

And over there, Highlights for Children

Bush sure ain't Gallant, so he's gotta be Goofus.

11:55 AM  
Anonymous Hillary said...

I was one of the kids who was kicked out of the apartments. :-/

1:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Came damn close to swollowing my own tongue on reading this post. Most hilarious thing I've read in months *snort* "hand up kermit's ass" indeed...

2:33 PM  
Anonymous Student said...

Hey I was one of those kicked out of UG too.. and we all knew the real reason even then. I may have lived there for just a year but it was damn convenient for students.

4:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my bitterness... as much as you seem to loathe the University and all things conservative you ought to be pleased that you are no longer affiliated with it.

Perhaps one day wou will let it go?

11:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You wrote: "Some of the ousted residents were elderly, owned their apartments and had lived there for more than 20 years. They were given no choice. "

How did they "own" their apartments? Were they actually condos? And if so how did the school buy them? I think of apartments as something you rent which places you at the mercy of your lease.

7:21 PM  
Blogger Katrina said...

I voted for Bush..what's that sound you ask? Oh, that's just me banging my head against the wall.It will feel great when I stop...in three more years!

10:31 AM  
Blogger One Librarian said...

I work at one of the other schools that bid on the library but were knocked out. I'm no Bushevik, but I still supported the library effort. Presidential libraries are just plain COOL!! If you've never visited one, you should go. Even if you don't like the politics of the president. The Bush Library would have been great for the city. Now I hope Lubbock gets it so that I don't have to live with all the publicity for it in my backyard and none of the benefits.

12:52 PM  

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