Word Snobs Unite for Quiz 2 & Exercise 2
Okey dokey, pig-in-a-pokey! (Any League of Gentlemen fans out there?) Time for a little spelling review. Can you find the correctly spelled word in this list? (Please do NOT post your answer. That blows it for everyone! This is strictly a "self-study" quiz.)
badmitton
sacreligious
chaufeur
diarhea
embarass
Farenheit
accomodate
wierd
barbiturates
comittee
priviledge
sieze
limosine
cemetary
procede
comission
knowledgable
innoculate
Now for a little writing warmer-upper. Many of you younger whippersnappers aren't familiar with the work of the master, Raymond Chandler (1888-1959). He wrote mysteries. crime novels and what they used to call "pulp fiction." His were dark, moody, witty stories set in Southern California. He wrote in a style that was pure word-jazz. He used the rhythm of words in thrilling riffs as cool as a Gene Krupa solo. His sentences were redolent with whiskey and reefer and women with a past and no future. It was a style he invented and that many since have tried to emulate. His specialty = the simile.
Here are some classic bites of Chandler:
"A white night for me is as rare as a fat postman." -- The Long Goodbye (Chapter 12)
"The General spoke again, slowly, using his strength as carefully as an out-of-work showgirl uses her last good pair of stockings." -- The Big Sleep (Chapter 2)
"His smile was as stiff as a frozen fish." -- "The Man Who Liked Dogs"
"I belonged in Idle Valley like a pearl onion on a banana split."--The Long Good-bye (Chapter 13)
"Even on Central Avenue, not the quietest dressed street in the world, he looked about as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a slice of angel food."--Farewell, My Lovely (Chapter 1)
"`She's dark and lovely and passionate. And very, very kind.' `And exclusive as a mailbox,' I said." ---The Little Sister (Chapter 19)
"The walls here are as thin as a hoofer's wallet."--Playback (Chapter 5)
"The voice got as cool as a cafeteria dinner."--Farewell, My Lovely (Chapter 15)
Yummy, huh? So here's your little task this week. Come up with a couple of tasty, Chandleresque similes. Post them in comments on this section. I'll even give you some fill-in-the-blanks to help get you started. But you're free to invent your own.
1. In August 2005, Dallas was as hot as _________.
2. She was as nervous as ___________.
3. Slow-talker? Conversation with him is like __________.
4. Watching them exchange vows, she couldn't help but think they were as compatible as ______and _______.
5. Her eyes were as ________ as _________.
OK, pick one or two and write a Chandleresque turn of phrase. Can't wait to read them!
posted by writer @ 12:01 AM
94 Comments:
1. ...hot as a trunkful of ipods.
2. ...nervous as a moyel with hiccups.
He fell for her like a boxer with a glass jaw.
Her voice was as soothing as sandpaper on cement.
His eyes were as grey as dirty ice and twice as cold.
Watching them exchange vows, she couldn't help but think they were as compatible as the spider and the fly.
In August 2005, Dallas was as hot as a scientist discovering how to reach absolute zero.
She was as nervous as a horse off to a glue factory.
Slow-talker? Conversation with him is like watching paint dry inside its can.
Watching them exchange vows, she couldn't help but think they were as compatible as a pixie and a klingon.
Her eyes were as green as her teeth.
In August 2005, Dallas was as hot as a poker in medieval torture chamber..
1. In August 2005, Dallas was as hot as a hooker during Fleet Week.
It all zipped past Dagen as she fled, crashing through her vision like a rock thrown through a window.
CB
3. Slow-talker? Conversation with him is like awaiting death by lethal injection.
(PS. I think this about my boss daily)
4. Watching them exchange vows, she couldn't help but think they were as compatible as peanut butter and jelly.
My fiance and I have been told this a lot lately! :)
She was a vision so sweet that he could feel his teeth formed new cavities every time she entered the room.
He held his gun like I hold my bourbon. Not very well.
The store was as organised as an autistic child's Christmas list.
His gaze molested her like an imbecile fondling a paper doll.
She was as nervous as a 1950s housewife before her morning martini.
The Phantom Professor's list of misspellings was more painful to read than my own obituary.
My ex-girlfriend was as flaky as my grandma's pie crust.
Watching them exchange vows, she couldn't help but think they were as compatible as Tom Delay and an ethics textbook.
Slow talker? Conversation with him is like digging out a hole the size of the Grand Canyon with a toothpick.
In August, Dallas was as hot as an Olsen Twins sex tape in a frat house.
1. In August 2005, Dallas was as hot as metal in a microwave.
2. She was as nervous as the first bullet on D-Day.
One more ...
3. Slow talker? Conversation with him is like waiting for a Baptist to sober up.
3. Slow talker? Conversation with him is like waiting for Aunt Edna to cross the expressway.
4. Watching them exchange vows, she couldn't help but think that they were as compatible as a Luddite and an iPod.
5. Her eyes were as brown as the shit her boyfriend was saying.
Her eyes were as wide as a boy scout’s in a brothel.
She was as nervous as a lamb in a lion’s den.
She held me like she was holding a grudge.
1. In August 2005, Dallas was as hot as the vinyl seats on my 72 Mercury that had been sitting in the sunlight all day.
2. She was as nervous as a virgin at a Grateful Dead concert.
3. Slow-talker? Conversation with him is like extracting a tooth sans novacaine.
4. Watching them exchange vows, she couldn't help but think they were as compatible as Tom and Katie.
5. Her eyes were as calm as the toilet after a flush.
6. He wielded his sword like an epileptic writing a love note.
7. Sex with her was like doing a favor for a pig. It's a waste of time and annoys the pig.
8. The kid stared at me like I was the ice cream man and he'd just been given his allowance.
Her eyes were as inscrutable as Amarillo Slim's at a poker table.
The sound of her voice was as pretty as the 3 o'clock bell on the last day of school.
He was as bold as a seersucker suit in a job interview.
The train was jerking and lurching like an Arthur Murray dance class.
Crafting a Chandleresque simile is as difficult as getting the Crest back in the tube.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
In August 2005, Dallas was as hot as sneaky sex and almost as messy.
Her eyes were as empty as her pockets.
Her departure hurt him like a dog trying to pass a Lego.
Slow-talker? Conversation with him is like stampeding turtles through peanut butter.
Watching them exchange vows, she couldn't help but think they were as compatible as a wet finger and a light socket.
Her eyes were as glazed as her doughnut.
The night was as dark and damp as that secret place behind the hooker's g-string.
She negotiated the price for her services like an auctioneer with an MBA. Forty dollars for this. Fifty for that. The prices came out of her mouth like a ticker tape in one of those old movies.
Her eyes were as blue and fragile as Wedgewood pottery.
She was as nervous as a cat stalking an eagle.
Tapper
My writing is as prosaic as Soliari on a bad day.
Her compulsion to shop was like a salmon's to spawn.
In August 2005, Dallas was as hot as a blast furnace in Pittsburgh.
Her hat was as stylish as prison matron's key fob.
He danced like a chicken with his head cut off.
She laughed as though her throat were the English Channel.
In August 2005, Dallas was as hot as liquid steel. - Bob
She was as nervous as a nun in a cat house. - Bob
Houston is a miserable place to visit. The town reeks of coastal funk and the air is like gravy.
Her silicone lips violated the laws of nature, like a Tropicana Twister.
His behavior was as pompous and out-of-control as Rick Perry's hair.
Slow talker? Conversation with him is like watching a plant grow.
Her breasts were as flat as flounder.
Norman's face was a mixture of fear and concern, like that of a cat about to be shoed.
My boss is as all-powerful and omniscient as an HMO.
No Child Left Behind is as beneficial and life-affirming as a suitcase full of dog toupees.
She was as nervous as a high school cheerleader waiting for her pregnancy test results.
Watching them exchange vows, she couldn't help but think they were as compatible as Julius and Ethel Rosenberg.
-Tabitha
She was as nervous as a Christian Scientist with appendicitis (apologies to Tom Lehrer)
Watching them exchange vows, she couldn't help but think they were as compatible as a rancher and a developer.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Having your boss look over your shoulder is like knowing about the pregnancy test in the medicine cabinet of a girl you're about to make love to. As long as you didn't think about it, everything would work just fine.
These really brightened my night after a long, grueling day of editing. Stephen, Zombiekiller, shorty1, you're killing me. Such good stuff. Now I'm as tired as a D-student's excuses.
In August 2005, Dallas was as hot, humid and smelly as a baboon's nest after it rains.
Slow-talker? Conversation with him is like getting my 92 year old grandma to remember what day of the week it is.
Watching them exchange vows, she couldn't help but think they were as compatible as stupid cats and electric garage doors.
The house was subtly decorated in early Demille
Edit for an earlier post.
Her eyes were as blue and empty as a Wedgewood plate on the table of a starving man.
Tapper
Watching them exchange vows, she couldn't help but think they were as compatible as a can of spray paint and a brush - into the same thing, but not terribly practical in tandem.
Slow-talker? Conversation with him is like a cadaver's pulse. No matter where you tried to take it, you'd never get a response.
In August 2005, Dallas made Hell look comfortable.
He was as graceful as a club-footed Neanderthal with athlete's foot.
To Max, the CIA was like a case of herpes. The agency might not have always been visible, but it was always present in the background.
Slow-talker? Conversation with him is like watching a slug crawl through a salt mine.
Her eyes were as black as the inside of a cow.
His last comments made him about as popular as a pay toilet in a diarrhea ward.
In August 2005, Dallas was as hot as flowing lava.
Slow-talker? Conversation with him is like talking to a tree in winter.
Her eyes were as red as Satan's horns.
Her eyes were as brown as the shit President Bush tells the American public.
Her teeth were as clean as a latrine after Sloppy Joe night at the base.
He was as graceful as a cat with only two legs.
Watching them exchange vows, she couldn't help but think they were as compatible as a tiger and a fluffy white bunny rabbit.
Slow-talker? Conversation with him is like watching a movie you didn't like the first time round for the tenth time.
In August 2005, Dallas was as hot as the air over Congress.
Slow talker? Conversation with him is like getting a liberal to tell the truth. Never happens.
Her eyes were as round as the zero's on the check in front of her.
3. Slow talker? Conversation with him is like waiting for the mail.
In August 2005, Dallas was as hot and restless as a four year old with the flu.
She was as nervous as an eight week old kitten in a new home with three neurotic dogs and a toddler whose favorite word was "kitty".
Slow-talker? Conversation with him was like waiting at the block for a forty-yard dash after three false starts.
Watching them exchange vows, she couldn't help but think they were as compatible as granola and champagne.
Her eyes were as seductive as butterscotch.
She was as nervous as a guinea pig on the freeway.
She was as long and lean as a spider monkey, but twice as hairy.
Texas, a land of only two seasons. With summers so irritating and grity like a Mexican prostitute, and winters that wash across the open praries like an unvarnished hell. This state, my state, my home, has become my breath and my life, yet it falls heavy on me like the wolf descending on the smell of carrian after a fresh kill.
In August 2005, Dallas was as hot as a priest's ears hearing Madonna in the confessional box.
She was as nervous as an anonymous source.
Slow-talker? Conversation with him is like waiting for the tide.
As excited as a shopaholic with a company credit card, she prowled the mall like a predator carefully selecting her prey. Gucci, indeed.
Her eyes were as black and seductive as one hundred dollar poker chips.
Trying to get through law school without stress is as impossible as trying to pick your nose while your hands are tied behind your back.
Slow talker? Conversation with him is like raking your brain over gravel.
_______'s (fill in name of restaurant) food is as lethal as the Chernobyl disaster.
In August 2005, Dallas was as hot as an alchemist's crucible.
Slow-talker? Conversation with him is like reading a dictionary in a doctor's waiting room.
Watching them exchange vows, she couldn't help but think they were as compatible as reality tv and class.
Slow talker? Talking to him is like conversation with a gourmet chewing a mouthful of Perigord truffles.
In August 2005, Dallas was as hot as "A women scorned Hot Sauce"
Slow-talker? Conversation with him is like listening to a teenager with braces chewing tobacco.
Slow talker? Conversation with him is like being measured by a pervert for customized tailoring.
Dallas was as hot as the core of a pizza oven
She was as nervous as a callgirl at a stag party
Her eyes were as cold as an Artic blizzard
He smelled like a dead fish in a sewer
Her eyes were as cold as an Arctic blizzard
I came up with this one when I was editing my review of "Time and Tide" (Hong Kong action movie):
Anthony Wong played a cool figure of authority as always and is reliable as a Vegemite sandwich in this regard.
- TimChuma
3. ...watching an eight-year-old wait for Christmas.
5. ...dark as the night sky in the Mojave.
AMom
His aftershave was overpowering, like the freshly-killed skunk I'd passed on the road, and no less attractive.
Unrelated to this exercise:
Have you heard of "Helicopter parents"?
3. Slow-talker? Conversation with him is like being stuck behind a kid on a tricycle.
4. Watching them exchange vows, she couldn't help but think they were as compatible as ice cream and oysters, yet for some strange reason they fit.
5. Her eyes were as changeable as Texas weather.
2-
She was as nerous as a young boy entering a catholic priest's confessional.
1. In August 2005, Dallas was as hot as a teenage boy in a supermodel sandwich.
2. She was as nervous as a cockroach in a lightbulb factory.
3. Slow-talker? Conversation with him is like a vain caveman's manicure.
1. These facts, she knew, were as incontrovertible as stones.
2. In August 2005, Dallas was rancid with heat, like the vent from a truck-stop kitchen.
3. The basement was as dark as a venture capitalist's heart, and only slightly warmer.
In the very same step his feet were as smooth as silk and as gruff as a new piece of sandpaper.
Slow talker! Conversation with him is like trying to fill a sap bucket from a spigot driven into a rock crevice.
He liked his women like his coffee, old and cold with a wrinkly gray skin.
Her smile was like a new-born's: helpless and expectant.
Leafing through the annual report, Reginald realized with a start that his stock options were as hollow as the chocolate Easter bunny slowly melting in his hand.
Watching them exchange vows, she couldn't help but think they were as compatible as a bald head and a tiara.
She was as nervous as a virgin in a biker bar.
Her voice was as soothing as the swish of tires on a rainy night.
Slow talker? Conversation with him is like riding from Brooklyn to the Bronx in August during rush hour.
He was happy as a preacher in a deaf convnsion.
He looked busy as a refrigerator salesman in the Northen pole.
Oops, no name.
Orlando-Bloom-comment is made by Frances.
(I don't seem to be able to log in as "other")
Ashley was shaking with fear like a horse with broken legs.
Watching them excahnge vows, she couldn't help but think they were as compatible as Kenny G and The Misfits.
1. In August 2005, Dallas was as hot as
two bimbos in a jacuzzi
2. She was as nervous as
a cat at the dog park
3. Slow-talker? Conversation with him is like
a toddler on the potty.
4. Watching them exchange vows, she couldn't help but think they were as compatible as
garlic and cinnamon.
5. Her eyes were as
red as a Communist's diaper
Some from my own posts on PostedNote.com
I bit onto that opportunity like a pit-bull on a candy-coated 5 year old girl.
We huddled there, us brave three, in the dry sauna. Like Shadrach, Meshach and Abednigo we willingly went into the fiery furnace. Sweat oozed from our pores as if we were sponges being squeezed. Naked, we sat there, meditatively silent, breathing in the smell of dry cedar and salty perspiration, our thoughts literally melting away enabling us to reach a plane of inner tranquility and equanimity. Thirty minutes passed and I began to feel dried out and dehydrated like beef jerky...
As I was walking in to work this morning there was a slightly nibbled-on king-size Nestle Crunch bar just half hanging out of the wrapper just poking out - tempting me like Cindy Crawford’s cleavage.
He was so tired that he lay there as if he were nailed to the bed.
The headache pounded through her brain like a mass of samba drums.
The deer was as cautious as a pollster on election night.
She was as nervous as a snail on the freeway.
Slow-talker? Conversation with him is like a quick swim in a peat bog.
Enjoyed visiting your blog even though it was by mistake. If by any chance you were interested in Weight Loss help please visit us. Thanks.
Great Blog Poker Chips
How forced on your influential website domain takes...
.lermit (wb elaine)
Do you have to be compelled to write your tutorial papers and if you're very into writing facet then this essay writing is for you. you can look here and In this web site you'll get that sort of facilities regarding the paraphrasing and writing service.
You know that he's very far better writers and folks very like to scan him. I hope briefly time we are going to get additional some writing to scan. http://www.howtoparaphrase.net/secrets-of-successful-mla-paraphrase/ and hope over to the present website in order that you will get the simplest criminology application for yourself.
Hi! I simply needed to allow you to understand that I've awarded you the article you've got printed is incredibly knowledgeable and useful on behalf of me. In here http://www.howtoparaphrase.com/top-55-best-paraphrase-tools-to-create-unique-content-instantly/ you will get a lot of data concerning our educational study and prep facet.
Great site, Everything is looking so flawless and I attempt to discover the blame in this site link any case you did the jumbling activity. You should post some more things about this sort of the article.
Good post, Heading is a gift every adolescent is getting from his teachers and adults and how https://www.paraphrasingservice.org/cheap-paraphrasing-services-japan/ it will help him depends on the way by which he uses it. Data is a notable move which will help him with meeting his goals.
Post a Comment
<< Home