Thursday, July 21, 2005


Today's lesson: Neologisms. Ah, those colorful inventions of language that efficiently and creatively describe something for which there previously was no apt word or phrase.

Reader Jeanne Everton says that since the end of Sex & the City, our language has been lacking in new lingo. So, collected by Jeanne and others (if any of these are from copyrighted sources, we're not aware what they are):

a.c. pee: n. The nasty drip from an air-conditioner.

barnese: n. 1. An obscure religion based on a devotion to Barneys New York and the belief that spiritual enlightenment can be found on the store's upper floors. 2. Followers of this religion. ("Smart, funny, cute -- if only he were Barnese!")

boroughbred: n. The rare New Yorker actually born and raised in Manhattan.

carbon dating: n. Going out with a lookalike for a former lover.

condenversation: n. The exchange of sweat by people in close quarters (i.e., dance floors, cramped elevators). See also: filmic moment.

despair conditioning: n. An unexpected waft of cool air (e.g., from a passing bus) that is at once disgusting and welcome in 90-degree heat.

filmic moment: n. A glistening sheen of sweat on your body or belongings, and the realization that the sweat may not be your own. ("That messenger and I shared a nasty but hot filmic moment in the lobby.")

galzheimer's: n. Condition suffered by a man on a date when he runs into a former g-friend in a bar and can't remember her name.

glute glue: n. The cohesive agent that develops on the backs of thighs in July, forcing one to peel them off park benches, pool chairs, car seats and barstools.

hybris: n. Excessive pride based solely on one's hybrid car.

little white line: n. Thong outline on girls wearing the wrong white pants.

pit-fall: n. 1. The unavoidable underam stains one gets from wearing tight, nonbreathable tees; 2. One's inability to avoid wearing tight, nonbreathable tees.

p.u.i.: n. Planning under the influence, as in making plans late in the evening, especially with friends, for the next day's shopping and brunch.

restau-romp: n. A date that gets out of hand at a dinner table and/or bar area. ("After two bottles of Cristal, my date turned into a full-on restau-romp.")

self-valetdation: n. Every now and then, when one parks one's own car.

skimplify: v. To reduce the amount of cloth used to cover the body. ("Summer's here -- time to skimplify the wardrobe.")

snack amnesia: n. The inability to remember any foods consumed between meals.

spramp: v. Sudden splash of cold water, facial toner or cologne to refresh oneself. Source: Jack McFarland, Will & Grace.

OK, you got any?


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