Re-posting: Random blurts

Originally posted March 3, 2005.

Things students have said in my office:

"My greatest fear is dying alone and being eaten by my cats."

"My boyfriend said everyone is sexually flexible. I think he might be gay."

"I'm pregnant and I don't know what to do."

"The third time I got a DWI, I realized I had a drinking problem."

"Is it date rape if you know the guy?"

"The company offered me $30K -- and with what my father gives me that's only $60K a year. Who can live on that?"

"I'm not spoiled! I only drive the cars my dad gives me."

"Her prom dress cost five grand... and it's yellow."

"You know that guy in the class? Brad? He asked me to come over and study with him and when I got to his apartment, he was wearing a towel and said he just got out of the shower. Then he dropped the towel and asked me if I thought he had a big dick."

"I'm doing the project with Michael so we met at his apartment. Um, he's a bit too affectionate. I mean, we were just supposed to be doing PowerPoints."

"My father's been missing for three days. He's probably dead by now."

"The girls in my sorority house are all cokeheads."

"I haven't been in your class for two weeks because my doctor diagnosed me with a disease... (dramatic pause)... acid reflux."

"Back in Louisiana, my dad is a plastic surgeon. He did (major pop star's) implants. He signs his name on them. So I guess my last name is walking around inside her chest right now."