Saturday, May 07, 2005

Re-posting: Random blurts

Originally posted March 3, 2005.

Things students have said in my office:

"My greatest fear is dying alone and being eaten by my cats."

"My boyfriend said everyone is sexually flexible. I think he might be gay."

"I'm pregnant and I don't know what to do."

"The third time I got a DWI, I realized I had a drinking problem."

"Is it date rape if you know the guy?"

"The company offered me $30K -- and with what my father gives me that's only $60K a year. Who can live on that?"

"I'm not spoiled! I only drive the cars my dad gives me."

"Her prom dress cost five grand... and it's yellow."

"You know that guy in the class? Brad? He asked me to come over and study with him and when I got to his apartment, he was wearing a towel and said he just got out of the shower. Then he dropped the towel and asked me if I thought he had a big dick."

"I'm doing the project with Michael so we met at his apartment. Um, he's a bit too affectionate. I mean, we were just supposed to be doing PowerPoints."

"My father's been missing for three days. He's probably dead by now."

"The girls in my sorority house are all cokeheads."

"I haven't been in your class for two weeks because my doctor diagnosed me with a disease... (dramatic pause)... acid reflux."

"Back in Louisiana, my dad is a plastic surgeon. He did (major pop star's) implants. He signs his name on them. So I guess my last name is walking around inside her chest right now."

1 Comments:

Blogger dfadf said...

The Tax Return Crack-Up<2>
I was not shocked because this was old news -- practically ancient, in fact. In R. Microsoft Office Emmett Tyrrell, Office 2010 Jr.'s most recent book The Clinton Microsoft Office 2010 Crack-
Up, page fiv Office 2007 e, paragraph two, we learn that in Bill Clinton's "first four years out of the White H Microsoft Office 2007 ouse, he ea Office 2010 key rned over Office 2010 download $43 million Office 2010 Professional after
expenses... Microsoft outlook "
The next Outlook 2010 page directs Windows 7 us to Appendix Microsoft outlook 2010 I, a list of the conniving couple's fees for speeches and book royalties and other income. The first

1:32 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home